


Don't Touch the Hat

by WildWestieWrites



Category: Undertale (Video Game), dreamswap - Fandom
Genre: (and hes techincally a rooster but shut up), (well one), Chickens, Don't expect too much, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen, I ALMOST FORGOT KEVIN, M/M, Pranks, Silly, Some puns, i seem to write a lot of that tbh, wrote this for fun tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 05:35:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16675507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildWestieWrites/pseuds/WildWestieWrites
Summary: Noah pranks his father.It does not go as planned.





	Don't Touch the Hat

**Author's Note:**

> Dreamswap and Noah belong to @onebizarrekai

Noah grinned to himself, trying to stay as quiet as possible as he let himself out of the back door and into the backyard. Padding through the yard, he occasionally snuck glances behind him, tightly clutching the object in his hands. He bit back a snicker.

This was going to be fun.

He crept towards Kevin’s run, quickly concealing himself behind the covered portion as he hummed the Mission Impossible theme tune. Giggling to himself, he rapped sharply on Kevin’s chicken house.

There was an indignant squawk and Kevin appeared, flapping his wings and pacing up and down his run. Noah giggled again, making Kevin look over at him with what seemed to be the chicken equivalent of a raised eyebrow.

“Hey Kevin~” Noah said. His hand went to his pocket, Kevin giving a stray cluck as his beady eyes watched Noah’s every movement.

“Want some of this?” Noah deftly waved the packet of chicken grit he had been clutching in his hands, still grinning.

Kevin stared at it for a moment, freezing.

Then his chest swelled up and all hell broke loose.

Noah dropped the packet and scooted behind the chicken run, scrambling up the tree. Kevin screeched and hurled himself against the chicken wire, headbutting it again and again like a bull.

Kevin’s headbutts would send the rooster crashing to the ground, yet he would just spring back up and continue to hurl himself against the wire.

Noah jammed his fist in his mouth to hide his giggles, as the windowback door was thrown open and his father poked his head out the bedroom window.

“KEVIN, YOU LITTLE BASTARD OF A BIRD! IT’S BLOODY 5AM, SHADDUP!”

Kevin ignored the blinding torrent of abuse in favour of repeatedly slamming himself against the bars of the run while squalling his head off.

“Christ-” Nightmare slammed the window shut. Even from his position, well hidden in the tree’s leafy branches, Noah could hear his dads arguing.

After a few minutes, the back door was thrown open and Nightmare marched across to the chicken run.

“All right, all right, what the heck is up with you?” Noah carefully shifted into a crouching position, hands quickly untying the ropes that had, until now, been supporting a bucket of ice water that he had concealed earlier in the branches of the tree. He gripped the bucket, his chest tightening with anticipation.

Nightmare seemed oblivious to Noah, perched in the tree above Kevin’s chicken house. Noah watched, tugging on his hat bobbles with one hand as he watched Nightmare inspect the run, his father muttering inaudibly to himself. Kevin continued to throw himself at the side of the run, still screeching his head off. Nightmare suddenly seemed to catch sight of the discarded packet. Noah saw his father frown, walking towards the packet and scooping it up with a frown.

“What the-”

Noah tipped the bucket forward. The ice water sloshed out of the bucket, cascading from the tree and drenching his father. Nightmare screamed. The bucket followed shortly after, and Nightmare’s yelling grew even louder as it somehow managed to land directly on his head.

Noah watched open mouthed as his father flailed his arms around helplessly, the bucket’s impact having knocked him off balance. He suddenly pitched forward, landing in an ungainly heap on the ground.

Noah was silent, then burst out laughing, gripping his sides as he struggled to stay on the tree branch.  
Finding his breath, he raised his fists to the sky and howled. “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! WHOOOO!”

“Ahem.”

Noah’s victory cries were cut short, and he glanced down.   
Directly into the very unamused eyes of his father.

He winced.

“Oh, uh, hi, um, Father.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, Noah cringing slightly as Nightmare glared at him.

Nightmare suddenly bolted, clambering up the tree with unexpected speed. Noah yipped, scrambling backwards and overbalancing. He tipped back, squealing as he braced for impact with the ground.

A hand shot out, grabbing him by the wrist. Pain shot up his arm and Noah winced, glancing up at his father with a wobbly smile.

“Than…thanks Father.”

Nightmare simply looked at him, before a grim smile stretched across his face.

“Well, you wouldn’t be much use with your neck broken.”

Noah flinched. “Wh-”

Nightmare hauled him up, wrapping an arm tightly around his son. He twisted around towards the house.

“CROSS! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!”

After a beat, Cross poked his head out the back door, holding a chocolate bar.

“What, Night?” Cross took a bite of chocolate. As he chewed, he suddenly clocked that a still dripping Nightmare was holding Noah their son in a death grip.

“Uh, Night? Why are…”

“No time for explanations, Cross.” Nightmare said briskly. “Just get the hose.”

“The WHAT!” Noah howled. Nightmare slung Noah over his shoulder, ignoring his son’s frantic kicks and hits, and leapt down onto the ground.

He chucked an irritated glance at Cross, who was still standing with his chocolate bar halfway up to his mouth.

“Get the hose, Cross, or I’ll tell Error where you hide your secret chocolate stash.”

Cross swallowed, hurriedly shoving the rest of his chocolate in his mouth and hurrying off to the shed attached to the house. He returned wielding a long green hose.

“DAD NO! PLEASE! HELP!” Noah thrashed in his father’s arms, while Nightmare gripped him like a vice.

“On my word, Cross, spray him.”

Noah barely heard him as he wriggled and struggled to escape Nightmare’s firm grasp.  
“LET! ME! GO!”

His father gave a dark chuckle.  
“As you wish.”

He dumped Noah to the ground.

Noah scrabbled up, and suddenly squealed as a jet of ice cold water soaked his entire upper body. 

He glared at Cross, who was still wielding the hose.

“Sorry, did I soak you to the bone?” Cross quipped, Nightmare snickering at his side.

“You.” Noah growled, taking a step towards his dads. “Ruined my HAT!”

He threw himself at them only to give an undignified squeak as the hose blasted cold water at his head. Nightmare started laughing, not stopping even as Noah hurled himself at Nightmare and they both went tumbling to the ground.

Eventually, Cross pulled himself together enough to pull them apart, grabbing Noah and lifting him off Nightmare. Noah pouted, crossing his arms as he struggled out of his dad’s grip and turned away from both his parents with a huff.

“…I hate you both.” He muttered, pulling his hat off and surveying the damage to it.

Nightmare snorted, using Cross’ hand to pull himself up. “Noah, it’s just water. Just let it dry out, man.”

Noah spun around, marching over to his parents while waving the hat high in the air. 

“That’s not the point, Father! Look what you did to the pom-poms! They’ll never be fluffy again!”

Noah slapped his still chuckling father with the still drenched hat.

“JUST LOOK AT THE POM-POMS!”

“Hey hey hey, Noah, cool it.” Cross grabbed Noah’s arms, stopping him from attempting to commit hat-related murder.

“Look, I’m sorry we got your hat wet, okay? Let’s go see Error, maybe he’ll be able to do something about it if you ask.”

Noah considered this for a few moments, before nodding briskly and marching off towards the house, hat firmly gripped in his hand as he reentered the house.

Outside, still hearing his father laughing, Noah nodded grimly to himself.

As soon as his precious hat was fixed, there’d be hell to pay.


End file.
